Self-Compassion Practice: Quiet Your Inner Critic With Dr. Ellen Albertson

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Start by noticing. On a hard day, Dr. Ellen says the first and most powerful step is to pause and name it: I am struggling, I am overwhelmed.

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Two questions anchor the practice: What am I feeling right now? and What do I need? Dr. Ellen puts the focus on these instead of on why you feel it, which she says can pull us deeper into overthinking.

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She describes three elements of self-compassion: kindness instead of judgment, common humanity instead of isolation (everyone struggles and makes mistakes), and mindfulness, which is simply noticing you are struggling.

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Try the friend test. Ask what you would say to a good friend going through this, then say it to yourself.

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Dr. Ellen suggests soothing touch, such as a hand on your heart or a gentle hug, and a written list of your go-to ways to care for yourself, like a walk, journaling, music or a shower.

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If self-compassion feels uncomfortable, start by being kind about how hard it is to practice. Dr. Ellen calls it a life vest when things go wrong and a parachute when you go after something big.

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She names an anti-authenticity trifecta that people resist letting go of: the self-critic, perfectionism (and workaholism) and people pleasing.

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Sayan’s closing thought: the harshness was never what made you good, it just made you tired. Try one kind sentence to yourself tonight.

Connect With Dr. Ellen Albertson:Website: https://themidlifewhisperer.comPodcast: Rock Your Midlife, https://rockyourmidlife.podbean.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_midlife_whisperer/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrEllenAlbertson/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@themidlifewhispererLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drellenalbertson/

Episode Chapters:00:00 How You Talk to Yourself on a Bad Day00:29 Welcome, Dr. Ellen Albertson02:01 The First Step: Notice and Pause04:06 Does Being Hard on Yourself Really Motivate You?10:06 What Am I Feeling? A Life Vest and a Parachute13:35 A Doable Self-Compassion Practice18:17 The Three Habits People Resist Letting Go Of21:06 Where to Find Dr. Ellen22:11 You Are Allowed to Be on Your Own Side

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